Were the days easier when I didn't love you?

Yesterday, he and I were having conversation with an adult about university. It was all very interesting, until the adult said THE most awkward thing that could possibly be brought up in that context:

"So, if you go to Queen's, and you go to McGill, that's not too much of a driving distance, you could still be together!"

At this moment, I cringed inside. We both shrugged it off, I, laughing politely, and he, replying, "We've still got another year so..."

Oh, how I wonder what was implied in that ellipsis. After that, my heart started getting intermittent feelings of adrenaline, which I eventually traced back to feelings of dread.

I'm completely aware that yes, we do in fact have another year, and a lot can happen in year. Meaning, I'm aware that we could break up. But I also think that things could work out.
So I have two theories about what the ellipsis could've meant. First, he could be trying to cover up for my benefit. I'd like to think that this relationship problem of indefinite duration is common to most, if not all relationships, especially between adolescents. So, maybe he's feeling the same I am: he doesn't know where things are going, but he doesn't want to make me feel trapped, just like he doesn't want to feel trapped. By reminding us that we still have another year reminds us that maybe we'll fall out of love, but we'll be fine. And then we'll move on with our lives, and remember each other as the ones that we first loved.

But there's part of me that believes the second theory, which is that he's totally closed to the idea of being with me after high school. I'm afraid that I'm just the one he'll remember from high school, and that' all I'll ever be. That could happen, but it upsets me because that's not what I want. That's what I'm willing to accept, but it's not what I want. And I'm afraid because what he said once, which at the time really hurt me, could actually be true.
"I just think that the longer we stay together, the more it will hurt if we break up."
This preceded the response of me saying, while drowning in my own tears, "If you want out of the relationship, then just end it now." I think that's the most hurtful thing I've ever said to him because he didn't want that.
But he could be, and probably is right. I know that the pain the end of our relationship would be surreal and numbing, and it'd take awhile to be ok again.
And that's the pain that I now know as the adrenaline feeling in my heart. I'm afraid of the pain I'd feel if this ended. I really didn't know what I was getting into when I said those three words:
"I love you."

Was it easier when I didn't love him? Maybe. Probably. But I don't regret anything about us. It just makes me who I am. But it was easier when I didn't know the potential of the pain I could suffer.

But I know that if anything bad were to happen, it would be the same for him.

So maybe everything will work out, and he'll be the one I marry and spend the rest of my life with.
Or he'll be the one that I remember as the first one with whom I ever fell in love.